I was giggling "controllably" while reading this

I love cats, but they can be rather mean if you try anything with them.  Dogs know this all too well.

But if you love them then they will love you back.  In fact cats can be quite loveable.

And playful . . .

  Not to mention provide hours of enjoyment . . .

But beware, they do have sharp teeth . . .

And apparently can be quite finicky at times . . .

If you own a cat you may have had to attempt to give it a pill or some sort of medicine during the time you brought it home from the shelter to the time you took it back to the shelter.  I actually love cats and can only imagine what it would be like trying to give your cat some type of medicine.  Well, now I have a clue on that.  Read below and even if you don't have a cat, you'll certainly get a kick out of this.

Please Enjoy!

Animal Jokes :: #1045
By Mark Andrews from Ascot Berks Unknown

How to give a cat a pill.

1. Pick up the cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.

"Do not try that again . . ."

2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left Arm and repeat process.

3. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm, holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.

4. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws, ignore growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold cat's head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.

5. Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.

6. Wrap cat in a large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with cat's head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of a drinking straw, force cat's mouth open with pencil and blow down straw.

7. Check label to make sure pill is not harmful to humans, drink a beer to take away the taste. Apply Band-Aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from the carpet with soap and water.

8. Tie the little angel’s front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of the dining table. Find heavy pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of fillet steak. Be rough about it. Hold head vertical and pour 2 pints of water down cat's throat to wash down pill.

9. Consume remainder of scotch. Get spouse to drive you to the ER, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill from your eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order a new table.

Probably at this time the cat is like . . .

Nope, ain't gonna happen. . . EVAAARRRR. . . or is he smiling?

10. Arrange for RSPCA to collect the mutant cat from hell and ring local pet shop to see whether they have any hamsters, gerbils or hedgehogs.

So, if we are apt to get a cat we must ensure we either take the cat to a vet for application of any meds or invest in leather, no, I mean thick leather, long sleeve, and cow-hide chaps when attempting this, with or without your spouse.

It's only 20 percent and other news

You would think it isn't a big deal, but 20% is a big chunk of change, like $200 less a week and over the next 11 weeks, so $2200 less overall, it will make a difference.  I was worried at first, but I think it will be alright.  Yea, I'm referring to the government sequestration of all government employees and contractors as well.  Of course we lowly contractors don't get the benefits that the government workers get but we will get the same 20% less.  I suppose the rest of the Americans will, or should, enjoy the fact that they don't work for the government in this day and age.
Other news . . .
Jason and I will be moving out of this place that we've called home over the last nine years.  There have been wonderful memories but many of them were made with our best friends with whom we will be moving in with.  I know I may have told some of you about this already, but please bear with me here.
Background is we first met them (David and Darlene) when we first moved here . . . January 2005.  He and my husband worked in the same place downtown.  I remember him coming over I think the first or second day that we were in town.  We stayed in one of the hotels downtown which the company paid for I believe.  Anyway, David walked in, was very kind, considerate and friendly.  His huge smile as our eyes met was reassuring.  Jason, my husband of about 10 days at that time, no, we did not get a honeymoon, was energetic and excited to have a great job after graduating less than a year earlier.  I couldn’t be more proud of him.  David told me that his wife, Darlene, and I, would get along great.  I don’t think he thought of it the same way I did, but nobody really knew how I would think of it, let alone my new husband.  It was a new place for both of us and a bit larger of a city than where we had come from.  When Jason left the next morning for work I was left in the hotel alone once again, but it was a beautiful place.  I didn’t sit around long and went downstairs to grab something to eat and go for a short walk around the area.  I was home, I found a Starbucks and went inside and must have sat there for a couple hours.  My phone rang and I looked at the number, thinking it was Jason, but didn’t recognize it right away.  I answered it and was wonderfully surprised to hear the voice of a thoughtful, sweet lady whom I at first was perplexed how a stranger could first call me then be so sweet.  She introduced herself, “Hello, I’m Darlene, David’s wife.  Is this Amy?”  My face lit up with the hopes that I had my first new female friend in this new city.  We talked for a while and she told me about the area which helped in my search for a possible home for us.  She invited Jason and I over to their home for dinner that Friday.  When I met her for the first time the Friday evening I was surprised such a beautiful woman, about my age, long dark hair and a gorgeous smile, would be a stay at home wife.  She welcomed us and gave me the biggest hug I’ve had for a long time, which just made me feel welcome and relaxed.
The next day, Saturday, they came to the hotel.  I was eagerly awaiting their arrival as staying in the hotel for large parts of the day were getting really boring.  Once again, seeing her and David just made sense.  Two happy, energetic people, big smiles, friendly as ever, I knew right away they would be special people in our lives.  It wasn’t freezing outside, of course I was used to the cold weather coming from northern New York, 40 degrees is actually nice unless you have a cold breeze.  She had on a form fitting jacket with one of them hoods with the fur around the edges.  Anyway, enough about her looks and classy outfit and yes, my obvious intrigue in them, we hung out for the day, seeing the sights and getting to know each other more.  Before the day was done we had walked to a few museums and monuments that I had only previously read about in books and ended back up at a nice restaurant.  It was the kind I didn’t think we could afford, being new to the job and me without a job.  It literally was extravagance from floor to ceiling.  We had dinner and I didn’t want to even know what the final bill was and to this day I still don’t know but I have come to realize that the company reimbursed David for it.  I really felt Jason had reached the top of his profession with his first job in his new field, but I knew Jason pretty well by that time.  He is a dedicated, hard-worker and his portfolio showed his desire and understanding of the many forms of thinking that went into his art, or rather his architectural designs.  The company was rather impressed as well.
Jump ahead to present time, actually about six months ago.  Jason and I were happy and were wondering how this 20% cut would affect us.  It all turned out to be just worry as it really hasn’t affected us much.  Jason, and now I, are well versed with budgetary issues in our young marriage.  At first I had simple jobs, which didn’t bring in much, but eventually I got on where I’m at now.  The people are wonderful, even the boss, and I couldn’t be happier.  Of course having your best friend work across the street isn’t so bad either.  We were at our good friend’s home for one of our weekly gatherings and the idea of moving in with them and their large beautiful home came up.  Well, my husband has also had a dream of opening his own business and as it turned out, David too had that same dream.  They figured, since they were such great friends and they had the area for it right at their house, why not combine and make a new start as a team.  They’d been working so well together and had many contacts throughout the area that they felt it would work great.
Their home is a large older home built in the late 1800s that at one time belonged to his great grandparents and sat on 200 acres of land.  It was passed down from generation to generation left to his family and the land was split between his siblings.  Most of it sold off but his roughly 50 acre share stayed intact until only about ten years ago.  He and his father wanted to remodel the old home and bring it up to standards for safety sake and to make it a home he and his new wife, this was just before they got married, could live and raise a family in.  Well, unfortunately, as it would turn out, Darlene is not able to have children and the idea of adopting has come up on many occasions.  However, they have been a very busy couple and time seemed to fly past.  When we had finally met them in the winter of 2005 they had pretty much remodeled most of the interior of the home and had sold off most of the acreage, give or take maybe ten acres around the home.
They put in for the permits to build an addition off the back of the home which would be their office and showroom.  They even thought that when the time came they could easily find a small part of the acreage and build a home that Jason and I could live in with our family, when the time came of course.  Are you thinking, “no way, this can’t be true?”  Well, you’re not alone in your thinking as I was taken aback when I first heard the idea of us moving in with them, then the part about possibly building a home for us on the property, that just floored me.  Of course we are a close, tight nit group the four of us and have gotten to know each other quite well over the years.  But still, this just seemed unreal but not so far-fetched when I think about it.  Yes, I’m not telling you the complete story, but this is true as I write it.
Forward five months or one month ago.  The work has already begun on the office space so their home is a bit discombobulated at the moment.  By the time we move in the office will be nearly complete and the larger portion of the construction completed.  Their house itself is not torn up, just the area around where the new construction is occurring.
Today:  We will be moving out of our place next month and into their lovely home.  I’m excited and nervous all in one and this will be a new chapter in our lives.